The Unicorn Juices is an evil cult that worship Cthulu's shorter brother. They want to create a machine to erase Doom from the universe.


Like juice boxes, duh.


After Jesus was crucified, one of the nails fell off and sprung to life: his name was Adrian.

Anyways, later that day, he got a job at Disney and starred in a bunch of films:

The Adventure of the Nail

The Nail Goes to Space!!!!!!

The Adventure of the Nail: Back to the Future

The Adventure of the Nail: Back to the Present

The adventure of the Nail: Back to the Past

The adventure of the Nail: Back to 2 Seconds After the Past

Since his movies sucked, he got fired from his job, wich made him become s terrorist.

And by that, i mean he dropped a computer with Doom in it, since everybody there was a Satanist, they didn't care, so his stupid plan failed.

So for revenge, he started seeking the ultimate weapon, then he found Cthulu's mom, she said he needed a severed unicorn horn and some random items, so yeah, he murdered an unicorn, stole it's horn, and got all of those juice boxes tossed by Cthulu's cousin at his aunt's house. (Because trash cans were made illegal there.)

Anyways, with those items, she made a living unicorn juice box, they both got married and had some children.

The reason they don't have nail characteristics? Because all the evil and stupidity of him is inside them.

Anyways, since there weren't any other unicorn juice boxes, the rest of the family was made by incest. (Wich explains a lot.)


  • They actually DO want to be stolen, so they can steal their stealer's walls to make a machine, this machine isn't the same one that erases Doom, iit's actually just there to make the room for the Doom-erasing machine look pretty, and it does nothing.